A lovely talk by a lovely lady..

Last month actress Ms. Revathy Menon was here.. @ University of Hyderabad (I know I should have blogged about it much earlier). As a part of the program called ‘Women’s March‘, she was invited to give a talk. The actress well known (in south India especially) for her acting talent also has two movies to her credit as a director, ‘Mitra-myfriend‘ and ‘Phir milenge‘. I have seen the second one and I thought it was courageous on her part to make a movie such as this one. She didn’t speak much about this movie though. The focus was on Mitra-myfriend and I thought the talk was very much insightful. What I liked about her talk was the clarity with which she spoke. I seriously doubt if any of the current generation actresses can speak with such authenticity.. And what can I say about her charisma.. She is one of the four gorgeous ladies I have seen.. { My mom and my elder sisters are the first three in the list.. }. I had an opportunity to ask a question to her and I don’t miss many. Though my question was a twisted one, she gave a straight forward answer to that one.

The question was a bit out of context kinda thing and i didn’t expect her to answer.. but to my surprise she could get what i had intended to ask and she even answered it. It was regarding the issue of “Being Single”. In India if a woman wants to remain single it is considered to be a taboo (?? H–0$—-Lity or Impotency is what they think of when one says he/she prefers to remain single {even though he/she may not be so..} !!). Its true that only a small (in fact very small) percentage of women would like to be so but the point i wanted to make was “Why does the Indian society not allow this concept of being single and how can the issue be addressed through the media ?”. She made a statement.. “The relationship between a man n a woman is the most beautiful one and its more important that he/she appreciates the differences and accept the other person for what she/he is”. Honestly speaking, I have different views about relationships and all.. but I agree to some extent with what she said. After all, its not all about compromises we have to make in life. I would say it is sufficient but not the necessary condition for longevity of a relationship (I had a long discussion also with one of the bloggers, Barath on this topic). Finally what I want to say is this. Ms Revathy isn’t like what you would expect a (stereotypical) actress to be. The humility and simplicity aren’t what we generally associate with actresses. But she is an epitome of these qualities and the fact that she is constantly working to contribute to the society by addressing different issues related to women through media, tells a lot about her. She indeed is a role model for many.

P.S. : Fellow blogger Barath also has blogged about the visit.This is the LiNk. I thank Barath for he was the one who told me about the talk and Sudarshan anna for having taken some lovely snaps.

A Musically Melancholic Mind..

Holi came and went.. Rang De Basanti was the song on my mind then. But I am afraid the extremity of mood swings has made me forget the song. Sometimes what you do needn’t necessarily be what you intended to do.. I was made to realize that I have become forgetful. As I have recently discovered, I have been quite unfair.. to some, my very own friends. There’s many things I wish I didn’t do and I can never forgive myself for mistakes I have committed. My mind was occupied with many a thoughts. Random, depressed, weird, strange.. Of late, I have been into music and was trying out new compositions on the keyboard. The strange thoughts kept my mind busy and my hands, refused to stop.. Nothing can describe those feelings better than this piano piece of mine, a result of all that my mind was going through..

Info : The music piece was played by Manoj and was recorded with the help of the Philips Go Gear mp3 player.

Never say Good Bye to me..

Its been a quiet week for me.. (ok.. the HoLi-day was an exception). Playing with colors is always fun.. more so on the day of holi. Its not often that you throw a bucketful of colored water on someone and still get away with it. Past few years have only made me lose my excitement for this day that once I used to have but this time, I saw myself getting colored and get into the act.. (I couldn’t escape though I had tried to). I even wanted to lock myself in the room and stay away from all this but soon realized that it was a very bad idea after seeing someone doing so only to find his room being flooded with water and the door.. well, it was being turned into a piece of an art. ( I don’t think I need say, how did the other guys manage to throw water inside..!!). Some guys just go wild when it comes to coloring others (or even getting themselves colored). Indeed it is a festival that brings everyone together.. a festival of joy thats celebrated overwhelmingly in most parts of India. (and sometimes it can be over-overwhelming..).

Its like a tradition here in the university that the students go to the staff quarters where the faculty members of respective departments reside and wish them, put some colors on them and so did we. We were wished by them too and all of us returned back to the hostels after having some sweets they had offered (this is the best part of holi.. loadz of sweets everywhere.. ).

On our way back, I saw some kids there trying to play and fight among themselves with whatever holi arms they had.. the colors, the water bottles and all. It was then I started looking back at the yesteryears and those memories kept hitting back to me. My mind seemed wholly taken up with reminiscences of the past as I took a tour back in time. I was now watching myself closely.. the part of me which existed years ago, an innocent little boy. I could now see him playing with all his little friends. He would just go on playing till someone stops him and the only thing he would then have in his mind was how well can he throw the little amount of water he then had in his bottle, on others.. Sometimes he would be in a blissful state and some other times, totally upset. He would pour that holi water on his elder sisters and would start jumping with joy as though it was one of the greatest achievements in his life. And when he had no more energy to play he would come back home, sit quietly and wonder what if everyday would have been like holi.. No school, no studies.. only playing with colors. And when he had asked his mother the same question, she would tell him some stories and he would then happily get convinced.

Well.. as I was watching him I couldn’t help but smile for he was the one, a known stranger to me.. I could see him smile back too. He was not gone yet. I thought he was waiting for me to tell him bye bye.. So I said good bye to him.. and to my astonishment he replied back with a smile, “Never say good bye to me..” and then walked away into the thin air. At that moment, I felt that he has conveyed a message that I would try not to forget. I wish I could become a kid all over again and live all my life like that innocent little kid, who never had any feelings of hatred, jealousy or anger !! I wish..

His ‘Realizations’ ..

Realizations of a Wandering Soul..

I have realized that
Lonelier you feel, lonelier the world makes you feel..

I have realized that
Even if I deserve the reward I got to beg in order to get it..

I have realized that
Words had hurt me more than the wounds I had suffered in life..

I have realized that
Broader the smile, deeper may be the wound inside..

I have realized that
No matter how many times I pray, I only get what I rightfully deserve..

I have realized that
When I am ecstatic about something there are never enough people to share it with..

I have realized that
Its not always a coward who gives up a fight, sometimes smart people too..

I have realized that
Every relationship has an expiry date..

I have realized that
I am better when I am silent..

I have realized that
Tears convey more than what words can ever say..

Can you hear me ??

I have no control over my life and I have a single purpose.. that is to show them the way.. the only reason I exist for. He knows not what it is like to be a street light like me, for he is busy with his work. But he is the one I often find walking past me on those deserted roads when everyone else is asleep and when the night is dying down. Every time I see him thinking about me, I have felt that he was trying to talk to me.. Sometimes I could even sense that he was having a conversation with his self or perhaps with his master, in that deep silence. He would stop by me and keep gazing at me as if I am a thing of beauty. I too gaze at him as I can’t do anything beyond that..

Ever since I was born, I have been watching people and have wondered how does it feel.. to be able to walk like them.. to be able to talk like them. They are the ones blessed with the abilities and the capabilities unique to them.. I can’t even try to think of having those.. I wish I could be of some use to them than just removing the darkness from their lives. but I can only wish.. I am supposed to be a street light that has to do its duty until the last breath of its life. My life isn’t quite interesting neither can I say it is boring, for I don’t have the discretion to say anything about my life. If only I was given a chance to speak, I would convey this all to him.. that very guy who has now become a friend of mine. Can you hear me Minko ??

Unanswered Questions..

He was a nice guy and she was an innocent lovely girl. And they were good friends. Ever since he met her, she had been a very good friend of his. They laughed.. they studied and they had some best of times together. It seemed like their lives were now painted with a new color. He was thankful to GOD for having got such a friend. She too had been liking him. Never before did he think that he will get a friend who can become so close to him. Everything was fine until one day.. when he fought with her for reasons unknown. They stopped talking to each other and neither of them knew in which direction was their friendship heading towards.. because the word ‘friend’ had become ‘foe’. He thought he would never talk to her again in his life and she… she was in a confused state of mind. She knew that she was the cause for the rude silence that had set in among them.

Days passed by.. She was feeling uncomfortable and decided to avoid him. But could not avoid the glare that she often got from him and that said it all. She wasn’t sure if she should go and initiate a conversation with him and continued to act as a stranger to him. But somewhere in the bottom her hearts she knew that it was not the right thing happening to her friendship. She had many other friends but none as close as him. She didn’t dare to talk neither did he bother to after that horrible fight.

Meanwhile the friendship that once used to be had become something else for him. Slowly but steadily he had realized that something was going seriously wrong in his life. Never before did he feel this way for someone as the strange feelings kept surfacing in his mind and the thoughts that only made him feel sad. There was not a single night that didn’t see him crying then after. Helpless he was. Whom shall he tell that he has been feeling guilty.. for having not talked to her.. for having made her feel uncomfortable.. for having hurt her. It was very emotional for him indeed. He couldn’t tolerate the pain any more.. All these days he was acting as if he is strong and let his ego take control over him. But now he was sure that he would break that long silence.

New day.. new beginning.. She came and was expecting that usual glare from him.. and she did get it but this time it was not the same. He looked into her eyes and said, “I am sorry..” and that moment she saw him burst into tears. He didn’t say anything after that as her eyes were conversing with his. And they kept looking at each other for some time not knowing what to speak. Words seemed to have disappeared. It was just Her and Him.. From then on they became the friends they once used to be and the silence had no place in their lives thereafter. But some questions remained unanswered to him..

• What was that strange feeling ?
• Why did he spend those sleepless nights thinking about her and crying ?
• What made him kill his ego and say sorry to her ? Was she only a friend to him ?
• What was the thing that made him feel so emotional for her ?
• Is it right on his part to have so much attachment for a friend and if that is the case then what does she mean to him .. just a friend or more than that ?
• Where is that fine line that he shouldn’t be crossing ?

P.S. : The characters portrayed in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental..

A journey..

Some of the greatest lessons of life can be learned from the most simple things (if only we pay attention to them..). The lessons, that can take us a long way in the journey of life.

Last week, I had some good time (as good as it can get) with my parents and my sisters. A Puja (in telugu its called “Ammoru Vaaram”) was arranged and that was the reason my sisters had come too. It was a kinda get together we had. I just didn’t feel like coming back from home but I had to. Anywayz, on my way back I had to board a train (which I usually do) and had the opportunity to kill some fair amount of time (an 18 hour long sleeper class train journey can be a grueling experience at times). There is never a dearth of entertainment though when you find some interesting characters traveling. Train journey is not something new to me but this time it was not the same as a series of thoughts struck me. I remembered an essay (The Station by Robert J. Hastings) that I had read sometime back.

When we are traveling by train, we get to see many strangers and I have a habit (good or bad, I don’t know) of observing them. Its not always you get to meet some great people (and that to in a train, rare case) from whom you can learn a thing or two (learn “How to be”). But the other side of the coin has always interested me. I observe people all the time and I sincerely felt that I have learned from them “How NOT to be” (if not “How to be”..). Not just in a train journey but in real life too sometimes people can make you think like – “why the hell are these guys behaving like this” and some situations would make you feel – “why does it happen to me all the time that I am faced with this kind of awkward situations ?”. Irritating they can be at times. Someone rightly said, “The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination”.

Well.. life indeed is like a journey. Throughout the journey, we are faced with various situations (some pleasant and some not so pleasant..) and we just keep waiting for the destination and in the process, we tend to ignore the journey itself. Over the years, I have discovered life is a journey, an adventure, a puzzle. There are many paths to enlightenment, their teachings rich and varied (offering wisdom and “food for thought”) and everything we need for our journey to awakening lies within us. It is here we create the blueprint of our collective existence. Crises from different life changing events and transitions (all unpredictable moments arriving and intruding into our “well groomed lives”) make us wonder why it has arrived bringing with it havoc and confusion. And during these times we often choose to ignore that inner calling. We need to ask ourselves what is it we are summoned to learn ? Are we ready to accept responsibility for our life choices and embark on this soulful journey ? We have learned to be afraid of the feelings inside ourselves. We tend to bury (and ignore) them (perhaps even pretend that they don’t exist..). Life gives us enough opportunities to push past our comfort zone and begin the process of transformation. We have to claim and embrace them.. Else the beginning will never have a beginning.

A much needed break…

I have been kept quite busy for the past few days.. Courtesy : my project work, the events that I couldn’t have missed and some thoughts, that keep me as busy as the other things.. So I needed a break (damn badly) and I got it.. I am going homewards for a week which gives me enough time to F5 myself. Not that I don’t enjoy doing my project work, but somehow i had forgotten that there is life beyond code. Anywayz.. my project work seems to be heading in the right direction and the fact that I am going home this time having no health problems whatsoever doubles my happiness levels (Last time I remember, the chicken pox had been kind enough to bless me with its presence). See u soon..

Raat baaki..

It has almost become a part of the curriculum (unofficially, you can say..). Some guys here live for it (yes.. some do !) and it is the most awaited event in the Hyderabad Central University – The DJ night !!. Its a tradition now to have a DJ night here (at least one per semester) and day before yesterday we had one . I can’t call myself a good dancer but on that night, I saw the dancer in me getting unleashed (yeah me.. dancing !! am I joking ??). Its nice to ‘dance’ (if I can call it so..) when everyone around you is dancing to the beat and you are not in the spotlight. It was real good fun indeed (especially dancing for ‘Mauja hi mauja..’ , I don’t think I can dance again like that anywhere else).

You don’t even realize when you get into the beat when you have a DJ showcasing his talent(s). Beat juggling, back spinning, phase shifting.. the Jockey had them all with him. A good disc jockey is so important for a DJ night or else you will find people running away from the event (literally) and i thought this guy did a good job, at least better than the previous time (last time they caught some bakra and it was awful..). and the credit should go to the present Cultural Secretary for arranging a successful event as this one (this is the only time I can see him getting into the act.. ok fine, Sukoon* is one more..). Of course, it has its cons too.. you can guess all that can go wrong on a typical DJ night, if guys (n sometimes gals) start misbehaving. Let me not get into that. To me, it was like an opportunity to dance and have some fun and I enjoyed it. May be.. I can participate in one more. So.. Mr Cultural secretary, Sukoon kab hai bhai ??

* Sukoon is a 3 day long cultural fest thats organized every year in HCU wherein you get to see some talented guyz n galz participating in various competitions held. And DJ night is a must.

(All Pics by Oj)

The night ..

Can you see the DJs ??

OJ and one of his friends Eswhar..

The Event, that was..

I had earlier mentioned on my blog about the event called BarCamp 5.. Well, I did attend the same yesterday and I must say, this was an event of its kind. It had superb presentations made by some of the eminent professional Indian bloggers and the CEO’s, founders of some websites and start-up IT companies. As a blogger, I couldn’t have asked for anything more than that. It also had few entrepreneurs giving talks on few other topics. The theme was Social Web and Beyond.

I was looking forward for this one as I was wanting to get the first hand information from those pro-bloggers as to what it is like to have blogging as a full time profession. Just imagine.. Sit for few hours, write something and publish it on a blog. All you need is a decent laptop, a broadband connection and of course.. a chunk of your daily time. Pro-blogging is as simple as that.. right ?? No.. it is NOT. I realized it soon after I spoke to a person there, who is arguably India’s first professional blogger – Mr. Amit Agarwal. He told me about the challenges that pro bloggers face. And its a constant battle they have to win and overcome in terms of maintaining and increasing the blog subscribers (i.e. blog RSS feeds), the quality of blog posts (originality n creativity) that has to come out every time one writes on his blog and also fighting with other issues like plagiarism (and some legal issues). To make a living out of this profession is no joke. I was surprised to know that Amit works for 15-17 hours a day. Oh Mannn.. thats like 3/4th of a day goes for this. No wonder, its been four years he started as a pro blogger and now he has 20,000 plus RSS subscribers to his website (after the initial struggle). 20K is quite a number [For my blog it is only 7 ] !!

I met few other guys and interacted with them too.. . They were like founders and co-founders of some websites and IT start-up companies. What does it take to start one’s own company ?? dedication and determination.. Well, these are mandatory but there are also so many other factors that one has to take into account (like funds, marketing etc..) while starting a new company or launching a new website.. and during the course of the interaction with these professionals, I was told these things. It was inspiring enough (I even got an idea of starting a new company, after listening to them . I keep getting some weird thoughts anywayz). Just to name a few of those whom I met.. Co-founder Compassites- Mr. Ramesh Rajamani, Founder of a social networking site for telugu people – Mr. Nandagopal, A blogger – Mr. Moksh Junaja and many others including some of the IT professionals who work for some reputed IT companies. There was also an excellent presentation made by one of my friends, Sumanth Krishna on “Ruby on Rails and its relevance to start-ups“. Cheers brother.. !!

I have to mention here something about Google. I used to wonder.. whats so special about them, that so much hype is created about anything that involves this word ‘Google’.. and yesterday’s event made it clear to me that the hype isn’t hype at all. I was quite amazed to see their hospitality. It was admirable indeed. Later I came to know that some guys had come for this event only because the Google Hyderabad was hosting this event.. Wow. that tells you the whole story. Anywayz.. it felt good to be a “Google guest” for a day. They sponsored the whole event and they had made every possible arrangements for the guests (to the extent that I could even play a TT game there ). and because my blog was registered with Hydblogs, they gave me some goodies . All in all, it was a great event. I would say these are the kind of events that give us a nice exposure to different areas and I think I have gained quite a lot from this one. BarCamp… Zindabaad !!

(All Photographs by Manoj)

The Event : BarCamp 5, Hyderabad

From BarCamp 5

The Blogging Guru, Amit Agarwal and the blogger-Manoj

The TT Man (-Oj)

The Venue – Google Omega, Hyderabad