Born of mind

If you don’t know the trees you may be lost in the forest, but if you don’t know the stories you may be lost in life. – Siberian Elder

How true is that one from a Siberian Elder ? I love stories.. be it reading, telling or seeing them happening around me. We can go on telling other people about the abstract rules of thumb which we have derived from prior experiences (We do have a big mouth, don’t we..), but it is very difficult for other people to learn from these. We have difficulty remembering such abstractions (the word ‘abstract’ is a dangerous one), but we can more easily remember a good story . I am not a good storyteller unfortunately.. So I thought I would share one here that was sent to me by one my friends. Read on..

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A Mafia Godfather finds out that his book-keeper has screwed him for ten million bucks.

This book-keeper is deaf and it was considered an occupational benefit why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf book-keeper would not be able to hear anything and never have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to shake down the book-keeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he takes along his lawyer, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the book-keeper: “Where is the $10 million bucks you embezzled from me?”

The lawyer, using sign language, asks the book-keeper where the money is hidden.

The book-keeper signs back: “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

The lawyer tells the Godfather: “He says he doesn’t know what you’retalking about.”

That’s when the Godfather pulls out a 9mm pistol, puts it to the book-keeper’s temple, cocks it up and says: “Ask him again!”

The attorney signs to the underling: “He’ll kill you for sure if you don’t tell him!”

The book-keeper signs back: “OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo’s backyard in Queens!”

The Godfather asks the lawyer: “Well, what’d he say?”

The lawyer replies: “He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger!!”
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This is what a computer should do first thing in the morning!

Click on the link below and then type in your first name.

/humour/flattery

OLD VERSION…

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant’s a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

MODERN VERSION…
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant’s a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

• NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
• Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house.
• Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other grasshoppers demanding that grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.
• Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper.
• The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for promptsupport as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .
• Opposition MP’s stage a walkout.
• Left parties call for “Bharat Bandh” in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.
• CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among ants and grasshoppers.
• Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the ‘Grasshopper Rath’.
• Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]“, with effect from the beginning of the winter.
• Arjun Singh makes Special Reservation for Grass Hopper in educational Insititutions & in Govt Services.

The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothingleft to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Governmentand handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

• Arundhati Roy calls it “a triumph of justice”.
• Lalu calls it ‘Socialistic Justice’.
• CPM calls it the ‘revolutionary resurgence of the downtrodden’
• Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

MANY YEARS LATER…
The ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi billion dollar company in silicon valley.
100s of grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India…